Kokoro
by Juunigatsu
Summary: [[Raven x Van and Shadow x Zeek, shounen-ai, yaoi, lime, dark fluff]] Nothing new. I've only upload chapter one again but the biggest difference is that I rewritten it. Much apologies for no progress.
1. Chapter One

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Notes: This story contains shounen-ai meaning **"boy x boy love," **as in **"homosexual romance."** If such a concept makes you quite squeamish or rile up with rage, I suggest taking your opinions out on with me. Just drop me an e-mail and I'll take in utter delight to annihilated your wise cracks to a "vague nuclear ash." This is your warning. Take it seriously. (And that I'm not in a good mood for it…)

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Pairings: Raven x Van 

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Timeline: Right in middle of the first season. The second season is the Guardian Force. Looks like we won't see Thomas around but we'll see Rudolph! 

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Disclaimer: The characters of Zoid belongs rightfully to their creators. I will not repeat this again for the sake of saving up my mental bills.

"Kokoro" literally means "Things of the heart," "feelings," or just simply "heart" in Japanese.

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Kokoro

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"Happiness lies inside

A secret cage"

--- Clamp's "Clover" (Vol. 4 to be more specific)

Chapter One: Kindness

It was a cool autumn afternoon. Every now and then there will be a cool breeze that blows swiftly through the golden brown leaves that would swayed in the trees. The small village of Rose Town is a quiet place. It's denizens lived here with peaceful demeanors living out there normal lives.

And it happens to be that in this town, Raven and Shadow are patiently waiting for their next move as they recuperate their injuries from their last battle with the opposing enemy. 

Raven kicks a pebble on the ground. The small rock skips a couple of time since he kicked it hard. He and his companion were walking down on a bare street block that is vacant of people. The walking steps of his boots and the metallic clanks of the black organoid were harmonic in rhythm and pattern. The noise in the area is completely absent so they could hear their own footsteps echoing throughout the alley.

"Shadow," He grumbles. "Where did I go wrong?" Shadow couldn't find a answer in reply and said nothing in return. Raven shrugs in frustration.

"You're no help at some times Shadow. If only you can talk, then you will probably be more useful."

Shadow whines in disappointment but nevertheless he follows his master in utter silence. Raven continues to complain, "It's no fair. I'm stronger than Van and he is still able to beat me!" He kicked another pebble the ground once more. "What's he got that I hadn't got? I don't get this at all!"

"Rawr…" Shadow responded with sympathy, still not knowing how to settle his master's (anger) problem.

"I mean he is so stupid. Not to mention a total idiotic papaya lover and also a complete wussy!" He exasperated.

"Rawr."

"And I'm better than him in every way!"

"Rawr."

"I swear I'll give him immense pain like no other. The next time we'll meet I'll hit it where it hurts! I'll rip his Shield Liger apart and his organoid Zeek too!"

"Rawr!" This time he gives him a more positive response,

"And mark my words Shadow, he won't last long more than ten minutes."

Throughout the day he continues to fume and think of countless of angry violent thoughts. Mostly vented on revenge and death. The thought of Van beating him to his own game infuriates him beyond his comprehension. He fantasizes a few strategies on how he could artfully beat Van to a bloody death. 

"Zeek you got it all wrong! It suppose to be a papaya cake not a mango one! We had to go back to bakery and clear this up right now!" 

Raven eyes suddenly twitch as he heard that more than familiar voice in the air. Raven grew suspicious knowing whose voice it belongs to. The voice continue to chatter on quite needlessly as Raven walk down the block and investigate by following the echo of the voice. 

At the corner of the street there is this bakery shop. The sweet aroma of fresh baked goods is enticing in the air. The effect on Raven is fatal because his stomach is growling in starvation. He doesn't remember since the last time he had eaten!

The shop's entrance door suddenly swings wide open. Van exit the shop with a big bag of pastries he had recently bought along with Zeek cheerfully following right behind him. The angry hatred riles inside Raven's mind since Van is not so far from his presence.

"C'mon Shadow," He growled with nastiness. "Let's see where he's going…" Sneakily with Shadow he stalks Van right behind him. It ultimately leads him to a small park that has a few benches beneath the trees. Van choose one of the benches and seated while Zeek sat next to him. He then proceed to take out his cakes and eat then with a whole mouthful while Zeek watch the butterflies go by.

Raven shuddered in repulse by the sight at him as he hides behind a bush. He reaches for his gun in his holster only to remembered that he left back in his Saber Liger.

"Oh confounded it!" He cried out loud in anger when he realized where he left his gun. His outburst unfortunately revealed on his location and it caught the attention of Van Flyhieght and his organoid partner. 

"R-raven?" Van startled that he stuttered. "What you're doing here?"

Raven stiffened his muscles, not knowing on how to react. His mind is racing with murderous thoughts of going to kill him and yet there is something strong that holds him back. That something is…

Lack of energy to do anything due to hunger.

Raven's stomach growled audibly for everyone to hear. Shadow glanced at him nervously and Raven twitch.

Great, I'm showing weakness to the enemy! He thought frantically.

Van however stood serene and calm. The expression on his face is full of compassion and empathy.

"Are you hungry?" He asks him warmly. He reaches inside his brown paper bag and he took out a pork bun and hand it to him. Raven didn't take it, out of his callous suspicion. "You couldn't fight me on a empty stomach." And he gives him a winsome smile.

A reason fair enough. Besides his stomach won him over and he gingerly took the bun from Van's hand. He took a small nibble on it only later take it on with bigger bites and quickly the whole bum disappeared down his throat.

"Do you have any more?" He snaps.

Van a little shock from his crankiness surrenders another bun. As Raven consumes another pork bun, Van meekly give him another suggestion "Do you want to sit next me? I mean sitting under the shrub looks uncomfortable…"

Crouching in the bushes is troublesome especially when there are twigs scratching your skin. Raven did not hesitate to rush over to one of the wooden benches and took a seat. He greedily keeps asking for more food to gorge. When it's isn't enough for his fill, he ravage on Van's pastry cake goods. Van literally stare in hopelessness as he watched him eaten everything he had bought.

"Ahh full…" Raven finally proclaim and he lies back on the bench contently. At this time he has eaten everything and Van silently whimpered in agony.

There is a little moment of silence. The bird twittering cheerfully as they hopped from branches to branches communicating with their own species.

"So are you going to kill me now?" Van broke the ice.

Raven took a moment to answer and he replies, "No not yet. My Sabre Liger still need to be repaired and it isn't at full power."

"Oh." He acknowledge and they went through a rather awkward silence.

"Where's your friends?"

"At the another side of this town in a garage, repairing our Zoids as well."

"I see."

Raven hasn't feel this happy for a long time. At this moment, he doesn't care that Van is his enemy and he can withstand his presence with ease.

As long as he could remember, nobody has ever treated him with genuine **_kindness_**.

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"LOVE

It's my dream

A beautiful dream

That no-one's ever seen"

-- Clamp's Clover, Vol.3

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To be continued…

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Next Chapter: Chapter 2: Misery, Shown in tears.

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Tibits: Prozen found out that Raven is in the company of Van…(Warning: Domestic violence ahead…)

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A/N: Should I continue or quit ff.net again? My confidence in writing isn't high as it used to be anymore…


	2. Special note inquiry

**Notes:**

Hi, this is just a thank you note to all who reviewed. It just amazed me that even if had not updated this story since…*checks date* **_JANUARY.28.2003_! So it has been long hasn't it? **

O_o;

 Nevertheless to the point, it amazes me that even after a long time that it has published, I occasionally still get some reviews for Kokoro. The reason I hadn't updated for a long because I have real life problems in my way and I don't feel inspired to write. 

Your reviews touched me, so just for you all, I'm going to rewrite it all over again (my writings skills has improved drastically for the last 6 months!) and will write it longer than I had usually plan it. This means more yaoi sweetness just for you!

What do you think? Just put your input and give me a gentle (or forceful) nudge!

-- Juunigatsu


	3. Chapter One REWRITTEN: Kindness in the m...

**Notes:**

*Blows off the dust that has been gathered, since for the last 9 months on this potential great story*

Okay first all, I would like to cover some things. I had written this story somewhere in late January 2003. I wrote the first the chapter and then never update the second one for what it seems like forever. 

I never write another chapter again because I am uninspired. I also vowed that I will not update a new chapter until I rewritten this one first and my writing skills has greatly improved.

Then slowly I keep getting some reviews for the last few months. It's like receiving birthday presents even though it's not my birthday yet! I find this very inspiring that I starting to write again. 

Special thanks to Naomi Hunter my muse and Vialana for giving me a good nudge. This includes other people who are kind enough to review this story even though it is almost near dead. 

Even if I keep continue to update and I get no reviews well that doesn't matter. It's the quality that counts right?

-- Juunigatsu (December, ilada@yunie.net)

**Pairings: **Raven x Van and Shadow x Zeek  
  


**Timeline:** It takes place during the first season. The second season is the Guardian Force. Looks like we won't see Thomas around but we will see Rudolph! 

**Disclaimer: **The characters of Zoid belong rightfully to their creators. 

**Kokoro** ****

_"Happiness lies inside_

_A secret cage"_

_--- Clamp's "Clover" (Vol. 4 to be more specific)_ __

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Chapter One: Kindness in the most unlikely places

It was a cool, clear autumn afternoon. The sky is blue and the clouds are placidly white, floating in the air with ease. Every now and then there would be a cool breeze that blows swiftly through the golden brown leaves that sway in the trees. A good few of them fell softly onto the ground.

The small village of Rose Town is a quiet, demure place of peace. The people who lived here are always busying themselves with their obligations in their normal lives.

Unaware to them all that there is a dangerous, infamous warrior walking amongst them on their grounds.  

Raven and Shadow are patiently waiting for their next move as they recuperate their injuries from their last battle with the opposing enemy known exasperatedly as Van Flyheight. They sit on a rim of the flowing, dull looking marble stoned fountain, sulking darkly and moodily while pensively thinking about their mistakes from their last battle. Raven puts his chin press against his palms, his brows declining deeply as he frowns. He tries to reason with himself but his temper obscure his concentration. The coolness of the water in the air is not even good enough to calm his anger and frustration.   

Raven kicks a pebble on the ground. "Shadow," He grumbles gloomily. "Where did I go wrong?" Shadow couldn't find an answer to reply and said nothing in return. Raven shrugs in frustration.

"You're no help at some times Shadow. If only you can talk, then you will probably be more useful."

Shadow whines in disappointment but he tries to make him feel better by nuzzling his snout in his hands. Raven pets him and continues to complain, "It's no fair. I'm stronger than Van and he is still able to beat me!" He kicked another pebble the ground once more. "What's he got that I hadn't got? I don't get this at all!"

"Rawr…" Shadow responded with sympathy, still not knowing how to settle his master's (anger management) problem.

"I mean he is so stupid. Not to mention a total idiotic papaya lover and also a complete idiot!" He exasperated.

"Rawr!" Shadow agreed.

"And I'm better than him in every way!"

"Rawr!" Shadow agreed to that fact too!

"I swear I'll give him immense pain like no other. The next time we'll meet him I'll hit it where it hurts painfully and I'll rip his Shield Liger apart along his organoid Zeek too!"

"Rawr!" Shadow cheered his master enthusiastically. If I translated it for you, it would be "_Go Raven go, you're the man_!"  

"And mark my words Shadow," He raved on vehemently. "He won't last long more than ten minutes! He will suffer before he suffers more in Hell!"

Throughout the day, he continues to fume and think of countless of angry violent thoughts. He mostly vented on revenge and Van's death. The thought of Van beating him to his own game infuriates him beyond our comprehension. He fantasizes many excellent strategies on how he could beat Van to a bloody, gruesome death.

Lost in his lovely violent thoughts, a familiar, **annoying** high-pitched voice snaps his attention back to reality so rudely abrupt.    

"Zeek you got it all wrong! It was supposed to be a papaya cake, not a mango cake! Aiya, We had to go back to bakery and clear this up right now!" 

Raven eyes suddenly twitch as he heard that more than familiar voice in the air. Raven grew suspicious, knowing whose voice it belongs to. The voice continues to chatter on quite needlessly as Raven walk down the block and investigate by following the echo of the whiny voice. Shadow followed loyally behind.  

He turns at the corner of the street and right there, there is this bakery shop. The sweet aroma of fresh baked goods is enticing in the air. The effect on Raven is fatal because his stomach is growling in starvation. He doesn't remember since the last time he had eaten, he didn't realized he was hungry until now because his thoughts are strongly focus on plotting revenge.

The shop's entrance door suddenly swings wide open. Van exits the shop with a big bag of pastries he had recently bought, along with Zeek following cheerfully right behind him. The angry hatred riles inside Raven's mind since Van is not so far from his presence.

"C'mon Shadow," He growled with nastiness. "Let's see where he's going…" 

Sneakily with Shadow he stalks Van right behind him. It ultimately leads him to a small park that has a few benches beneath the trees. Van chooses one of the benches and sits down under the shade, while Zeek sat next to him. He then proceeds to take out his cakes and eat then with a whole mouthful while Zeek watch the butterflies go by. The evil duo hides behind a thick bush as they quietly spying on them, plotting their deaths. 

Raven shuddered in revolting repulse by the sight at him as he hides behind a bush. He reaches for his gun in his holster only to remember that he left back in his Saber Liger.

"Damn it!" He cried aloud in anger when he realized that he left his gun with his zoid. He couldn't run back to fetch it because his zoid is being repaired in a shop and it's a long distance away from the park. He wouldn't even dare to leave, not wanting to dump this perfect opportunity to kill his adversary right here, right **now**! If he leaves, he'll lose him definitely!

His loud outburst unfortunately revealed out his secret hiding location and it caught the attention of Van Flyhieght and his organoid partner. 

"R-raven?" Van startled that he stuttered. "What you're doing here?"

Raven stiffened his muscles, not knowing on how to react. His mind is racing with murderous thoughts of going to kill him and yet there is something strong that holds him back. That something is…

Lack of energy to do anything due to hunger.

Raven's stomach growled audibly for everyone to hear. Shadow glanced at him nervously and Raven twitch.

Great, I'm showing my weakness to the enemy! He thought frantically.

Van however stood serene and calm. A little nervous and shaken that he stood face to face to his enemy but the expression on his face is full of compassion and sympathy.

"Are you hungry?" He asks him warmly. He reaches inside his brown paper bag and he took out a pork bun and hand it to him. Raven didn't take it, out of his callous suspicion. "You couldn't fight me on a empty stomach." He smiled.

A reason fair enough. Besides his stomach won him over and he gingerly took the bun from Van's hand. He took a small nibble on it only later take it on with bigger bites and quickly the whole bun disappeared down his throat.

"Do you have any more?" He snaps. He is cranky from hunger. 

Van jumps from a little shock from his crankiness but nevertheless he kindly surrenders another bun. As Raven consumes another pork bun, Van meekly give him another suggestion "Do you want to sit next me? I mean sitting under the bush looks uncomfortable…"

Crouching in the bushes is troublesome especially when there are twigs scratching irritably against his skin. Raven did not hesitate to rush over to one of the wooden benches and took a seat. He greedily keeps asking for more food to gorge. When it's isn't enough for his fill, he quickly ravage on Van's pastry cake goods. Van literally stare in hopelessness as he watched him eaten everything he had bought with his own money.

"Ahh full…" Raven finally proclaims as he lies back on the bench contently. At this time, he has eaten everything and Van silently whimpered in agony and hunger at the lost his lunch. 

There is a little moment of silence. The bird twittering cheerfully as they hopped from branch to branch, communicating within their own species.

Van broke the ice. "So are you going to kill me now?" He said uncomfortably in his prescence. 

Raven took a moment to answer and he replies, "No not yet. My Sabre Liger still needs to be repaired and it isn't at full power. If I fight you now, you'll have the advantage over and me and I simply will not let that happen!"

"Oh." He acknowledges and they went through a rather awkward silence.

"Where are your friends?" Raven asked.

"They're at another side of this town in a garage, repairing our Zoids as well."

"I see." He doesn't why but he's a little glad that he have him alone for a while.

Raven has not felt this happy for a long time. At this moment, he doesn't care that Van is his enemy and he can withstand his presence with ease. It seems that time stand still between the two of them.

As long as he could remember, nobody has ever treated him with genuine **_kindness_**. 

_"LOVE_

_It's my dream_

_A beautiful dream_

_That no-one's ever seen"_

_-- Clamp's Clover, Vol.3_

**To be continued…**

**Notes:**

All I did is rewriting the entire chapter so that the story flows much better. I know this is a total nuisance because I didn't update anything new and the story is not progressing further.****

Chapter two would be coming around next week, late September or Early October, it depends if I am busy with homework or not.

Thanks for reading and review please! Much encouragement is needed because my self-esteem is not feeling so good…yeah I have a low self-esteem and to be honest with you, I like getting praise more than constructive reviews. ^^;

-- Juunigatsu


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